Democratic Ostrich

Behold the Democratic Ostrich, hybrid offspring of an American eagle, a FOX, and the MSNBC peacock! With its sturdy beak and powerful legs, the Democratic Ostrich could easily overcome and disembowel any rightwing attacker…


Instead, at the first sign of danger, the Democratic Ostrich runs fleet as a cheetah to the nearest pile of sand…


Listen, it’s the mating call of the Democratic Ostrich!

1st one to mention Hitler loses! Don’t talk about politics, ever! Compromise to win! They’re all crooks, anyway! There are two sides to every issue! Republicans = conservative, Democrats = liberal! Vote strategically! Ralph Nader was bad! Howard Dean was crazy! Compromise even more to win! Bush was incompetent! Bipartisan is better! Blame progressives for why we never win! NPR is liberal! No political conspiracies, ever! Look forward, not backward! Obama’s playing chess, not checkers! Be pragmatic! Pro-war, pro-death penalty, and still Democrat!


As it burrows its head ever-deeper in search of the reasonable approach, the Democratic Ostrich can’t help but signal the ‘come hither’ to every right-winged bruiser with a glint in his eye and a rise in his Levis. And after yet another good drubbing, the battered and bloody Democratic Ostrich wrings its wings and wails “Why?” and “How did this happen?”


images by punky winterboy